I am not a patient person. Not a patient person by any means and having an almost 4 year old little boy does nothing but heighten that. Is it his fault that I am impatient ? No. There are often times when I will blame him for my impatience though, saying that if he had not done such and such or if he had done this or that then I would not have lost my patience (and often my temper). I know that it is sin, and an area in my life that I need to work on.
Over this past week I have made this a focus of mine. I made it my goal this week to note when I was about to (or when I did) lose my patience, and then go before God in it. I seriously asked myself what the reason was for my loss in patience. In the end, every time I lost my patience, I realized that it was not due to someone else or some outside circumstance, it was because of some issue within my own heart. I noticed that the more upset or stressed out I was over something, the more impatient I became with my son. I would be short and snappy with him or become easily irritated by things that are natural for boys (like the desire to run around and karate chop everything in sight, lol). This broke my heart. My poor precious little man was not even in sin over anything and I was being so mean and impatient and indifferent to him because of an attitude that I had in my own heart. It hit me hard, what a horrible mother he must think I am, being so cross and rude to him when all he was doing was being a little boy!!! :(
I can only imagine his emotions and feelings as his mom loses her temper and becomes frustrated at him, and he doesn’t even realize why. I am sure that many of you have been there, been in my shoes. Had your days when you were mis-tempered and impatient with your little ones. I am sure that you have had your days when you put your littles to bed and then finally sit down and as you begin to think back you feel a sickening feeling of regret and remorse and conviction at how unkind you had been for the day, maybe not only to your babies, but maybe to your husband as well (I have noticed that this often goes hand in hand).
If this is you beloved, then let me offer you a bit of comfort and encouragement, as well as a bit of a rebuke. If you are in Christ, truly a child of God, then he has equipped you for every good work. That means that God has already equipped you to be a mother and a wife who glorifies Him in everything. He has already given you what you need to be patient and good tempered, all you need to do is seek Him.
“Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” ~ 2 Peter 1:3
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” ~ Ephesians 2:10
I challenge you this week, to get on your face before God. I know that I say that often in my posts, but I truly mean it. Get before God and ask Him to guide you and direct you. Confess to Him your impatience, your ill temper, your anger and anything else sinful that seeks to ensnare you. This is so important, that you go to God and you talk with Him, I can tell you that once I had begun to make an effort to do this throughout my day, my attitude had totally changed. I no longer saw my son as a bother or an irritation, but rather I saw him as a blessing and it began to bring me joy to see him run around and play and laugh. (I also noticed that he was much happier when he noticed that mommy was happier :) )
It is also so important that you make time to be in the word of God. I know that we as moms can be so well meaning, but then we get caught up in the day to day that there are times when we are not in the word of God like we should be, and let me tell you, that makes a huge difference. I have been doing a read your Bible through in a year plan with some ladies in a homeschooling moms facebook group, and let me tell you, I can tell a complete difference in my day and my attitude when I am in the Word compared to when I am not.So ladies, make time to not only seek the face of God by talking with Him, but by reading His word, his letters to you.
And last, I challenge you to make time for your little boy(s) (or girls :) ). Spend time just playing and talking with them. My son feels so important when mommy actually sits down face to face and holds a conversation with him, he smiles ear to ear and you can tell he feels like he is the only thing that matters to me, and that is so important. If you do not take the time to build relationships with your little ones now, you may not have the chance to when they are older. So play and have fun, actually get to know your kids and what is important to them. And remember motherhood, it is about serving and glorifying God and raising children who seek to serve and to glorify Him as well, in the end that is all that matters.