Sweetheart, I love you because….

So I finished week two of the “Be My Valentine” challenge and I must say, the more that I do for my husband to tell him that I love him, the more that I want to do, and the more ideas flow in to me! I am having so much fun doing this! And then on top of all of this amazing fun, I am starting a new 30 days of encouraging my husband. This to me goes hand in hand with me finding new ways to show my husband that I love him. What better way to show my husband that I love him, then to spend each day telling him and making it evident not only in creative little love notes and messages, but in my words and deeds.

The Gift All Husbands Want for Valentines Day

Here is the link from week two of this challenge on the Women Living Well Blog for those of you who are following along or are interested in joining in:

10 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Husband

So here are a few ways this last week that I have said “I love you” to my sweet husband

 

 

I actually took another one of our sons bathtub crayons and wrote on our bathroom mirror a little love reminder for my husband. He at first thought that I might have wrote this for our son(who is 3 and cannot read yet, lol) Sometimes my husband is a little oblivious to obvious things

Here is a little love letter that I wrote and left in the car for my husband. He found it on his way to school. (This time I placed it in a place that he couldn’t miss it, lol)

And here is a picture of the back of the love letter that I left him. I put on his favorite lipgloss and left some kisses on the back of the envelope

Here is something that I am doing everyday up to Valentines day. I posted this on our bedroom door, and each day I put up a new heart with a new reason why I love and appreciate him. It is something that he can see each time he looks at our door – and I hope this shows him a little why I love him so very much (though these will barely scratch the surface!)

I also made one for our son – lol, he was starting to feel a little left out of all of the love!

 

These are just a few of the things that I did this past week to let my husband know that I love him and that I appreciate all that he does for us and for our family. I encourage you to join in with me – it is never to late to come up with creative ways to tell your husband that you love him. Remind him of why you married him, why he is so important to you, and why you still are crazy in love with him. I promise, it will make a difference in your marriage.

Patience With Little Boys

I am not a patient person. Not a patient person by any means and having an almost 4 year old little boy does nothing but heighten that.  Is it his fault that I am impatient ? No. There are often times when I will blame him for my impatience though, saying that if he had not done such and such or if he had done this or that then I would not have lost my patience (and often my temper). I know that it is sin, and an area in my life that I need to work on.

Over this past week I have made this a focus of mine. I made it my goal this week to note when I was about to (or when I did) lose my patience, and then go before God in it. I seriously asked myself what the reason was for my loss in patience. In the end, every time I lost my patience, I realized that it was not due to someone else or some outside circumstance, it was because of some issue within my own heart.  I noticed that the more upset or stressed out I was over something, the more impatient I became with my son. I would be short and snappy with him or become easily irritated by things that are natural for boys (like the desire to run around and karate chop everything in sight, lol). This broke my heart. My poor precious little man was not even in sin over anything and I was being so mean and impatient and indifferent to him because of an attitude that I had in my own heart. It hit me hard, what a horrible mother he must think I am, being so cross and rude to him when all he was doing was being a little boy!!!

I can only imagine his emotions and feelings as his mom loses her temper and becomes frustrated at him, and he doesn’t even realize why. I am sure that many of you have been there, been in my shoes. Had your days when you were mis-tempered and impatient with your little ones. I am sure that you have had your days when you put your littles to bed and then finally sit down and as you begin to think back you feel a sickening feeling of regret and remorse and conviction at how unkind you had been for the day, maybe not only to your babies, but maybe to your husband as well (I have noticed that this often goes hand in hand).

If this is you beloved, then let me offer you a bit of comfort and encouragement, as well as a bit of a rebuke. If you are in Christ, truly a child of God, then he has equipped you for every good work. That means that God has already equipped you to be a mother and a wife who glorifies Him in everything. He has already given you what you need to be patient and good tempered, all you need to do is seek Him.

“Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” ~ 2 Peter 1:3

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” ~ Ephesians 2:10

I challenge you this week, to get on your face before God. I know that I say that often in my posts, but I truly mean it. Get before God and ask Him to guide you and direct you. Confess to Him your impatience, your ill temper, your anger and anything else sinful that seeks to ensnare you. This is so important, that you go to God and you talk with Him, I can tell you that once I had begun to make an effort to do this throughout my day, my attitude had totally changed. I no longer saw my son as a bother or an irritation, but rather I saw him as a blessing and it began to bring me joy to see him run around and play and laugh. (I also noticed that he was much happier when he noticed that mommy was happier )

It is also so important that you make time to be in the word of God. I know that we as moms can be so well meaning, but then we get caught up in the day to day that there are times when we are not in the word of God like we should be, and let me tell you, that makes a huge difference. I have been doing a read your Bible through in a year plan with some ladies in a homeschooling moms facebook group, and let me tell you, I can tell  a complete difference in my day and my attitude when I am in the Word compared to when I am not.So ladies, make time to not only seek the face of God by talking with Him, but by reading His word, his letters to you.

And last, I challenge you to make time for your little boy(s) (or girls ). Spend time just playing and talking with them. My son feels so important when mommy actually sits down face to face and holds a conversation with him, he smiles ear to ear and you can tell he feels like he is the only thing that matters to me, and that is so important. If you do not take the time to build relationships with your little ones now, you may not have the chance to when they are older. So play and have fun, actually get to know your kids and what is important to them. And remember motherhood, it is about serving and glorifying God and raising children who seek to serve and to glorify Him as well, in the end that is all that matters.

How do you say “I Love You” to your husband ?

“The wise woman builds her house,

but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
~Proverbs 14:1 

After reading a blog challenge from the Women Living Well blog, I decided for the next few weeks to follow along and each day find a new (and hopefully creative) way to say I love you to my husband.

Be My Valentine – Week 1 Challenge

Here was last week’s challenge :

Week 1 Challenge - Take the Initiative!  Look for ways to praise your husband verbally.

Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!

Last week went pretty well, though I cannot say I was too creative with the ways that I said I love you to him, LOL. Here are a few of the ways that I told my husband I loved him :

This is one where I wrote a little “I love you” to my hubby so that when he got into the shower he would see it. Sorry that it is a little blurry here and there, this is what it looked like when he got out, lol, I think the water wore off parts of it. I just used our sons bathtub crayons to write this out.

Here is another love writing that I did. I took one of the folders that my husband uses for his college class and I wrote these little notes on a piece of paper and I taped them inside of his folder. I was thrilled at how cute they were, he on the other hand was not as happy about them. He thought that they were nice, but was a little embarrassed when in his class of 700 students he opened up his folder and got chuckled at by other students…..oh well, I liked my creativity.

And here is a picture I sent to him via text message. I just found the image on Google and sent it to him. If you have a husband like mine who is a little electronically challenged when it comes to cell phones, then you may want to make a hint to him to have him check his phone. LOL

So these are just a few ways this past week that I let my husband know that I loved him.

I encourage you ladies to join in. Sometimes we can get stuck in a rut in our marriage and we can take for granted the fact that God has blessed us with the precious man that He has. I know that I tell my husband constantly that I love him, but I think that making it a daily effort to do something new and surprising to tell him that I love him and  keeps things fresh. It also tells your husband that you are making a constant effort to show that you love and appreciate him and all that he does, and I know that makes every man feel cherished and special.

So as you follow along, let me know what creative ways you tell your husband that you love him and then at the end of this next week I will post on some more of the ways that I told my husband that I loved him (hopefully a little more creative than this past week, )

The Corruption of Self Esteem

 

We live in a culture that is saturated with self-esteem. It has gotten so bad that even the secular world is starting to realize that this is something that has grown out of control. We concern ourselves with how damaged our children’s self-esteem will be if they are told that they are wrong in something or if we correct their mistakes. Instead we are told that our children need to be told that they are right constantly, even when they are wrong, in fear that otherwise we would hurt them and cause them to give up and no longer try. We are worried about telling another person something negative for fear that their self-esteem might be damaged and they they would have a bad imagine about themselves.

When did it matter that we have a good image of ourselves ? Scripture never tells us that we need to have a good self image, but rather it talks to us about how corrupt we are and how there is not good in us. You want to talk about someone who was harsh on “self-esteem” look to the apostle Paul. He was someone who could have cared less about how you viewed yourself, actually it seemed that he preferred that you view yourself as lowly and less than important because Christ was to be the most important thing.

As Christians our focus needs to be on the finished work of Jesus Christ and “self-esteem” removes our focus from Christ and what He has done for us; to ourselves.

Humility = Focus on Jesus Christ 

Self-Esteem = Focus on Self 

I like this quote by Charles H. Spurgeon on this very subject :

You are not mature if you have a high esteem of yourself. He who boasts in himself is but a babe in Christ, if indeed he be in Christ at all. Young Christians may think much of themselves. Growing Christians think themselves nothing. Mature Christians know that they are less than nothing. The more holy we are, the more we mourn our infirmities, and the humbler is our estimate of ourselves.

When you think about it that way, it puts an entirely new perspective on this thing that we call self-esteem. If you go based off of Spurgeons words, then those who are focused on self-esteem are as mere babes in Christ (or sometimes not in Christ at all) where as those who are constantly growing in maturity in Christ are those who have a new found perspective on this thing called self-esteem and they are the ones who realize that Christ is everything and the more we see Him, the less we see in/of ourselves.

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

Thinking on this verse, how often do we say that ? Are you truly GLAD to boast in your weaknesses ? Or are you one who is constantly seeking to make yourself “feel better” about those things in your life in which you struggle or don’t do well ? If we follow the example of the apostle Paul, then we know that rather than focusing on how we cannot do something or how weak we are in an area, we would turn to God and praise His name for creating us in the way that He did and then seek to find a way to glorify Him even in the midst of our weaknesses.

“But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” ~ Galatians 6:14

Self-esteem does not matter. If you truly look at it, all self-esteem leads to is the corruption of the heart. Brethren, I beseech you to turn away from this wicked thing called self-esteem and to turn to Christ. Allow Him to be your everything and put aside all worldly notions of making yourself first or making yourself feel good. In the end that will fade away and when you are standing before God on judgement day, would you not rather be able to say that Christ was your all and making the most of Him was all that mattered ? Focus then on that my dear brothers and sisters and make that your end goal, seek to do that daily and in everything. Set your mind on Christ and how you can make Him larger and yourself smaller and smaller, for in the end truly, that is ALL that matters, everything else is meaningless and will perish in the flames.

October 31st – Reformation Day

 

So I will start by saying that this is our first year (ever) that we are celebrating Reformation Day. I must admit that it wasn’t until recently that I even knew what Reformation Day WAS (funny as it is that our family has claimed to be reformed for the past couple years, LOL). This is our first year in an actual reformed church as well, so all of this is new to us. I must admit that I quite like the idea of celebrating a holiday that has to do more with God than one that is concerned with gouls, goblins, witches and demons. So, needless to say, I was thrilled and jumped at the idea of starting a tradition with our son where we could celebrate God and where the glory could once again be pointed back to Him.

In this post, I would just simply like to briefly go over what Reformation Day really is, a little of the history behind it and what truly is the purpose in celebrating it as a holiday.

Many of you who have heard of Reformation Day will automatically think of Martin Luther and the 95 Theses that he “nailed: to the door  of a church in Wittenberg, Germany. I say “nailed” because there really is no evidence that he nailed it to the doors (though it sounds really good) besides that of a man who sat under the teaching of Martin Luther. The thing is, the man who claimed that Martin Luther nailed them to the door wasn’t even a student of Martin Luther until a year or two AFTER the 95 thesis was “nailed” to the door. So, we can say that he nailed them to the door, and it makes a really good movie, but can we be 100% sure of it ? No. But we can know that it was common back in that day to nail to the door of the local church petitions and documents that you wanted to be seen and discussed, which is why we can probably safely say that it is likely that Martin Luther did nail the thesis to the door of the church.

A thing that I think some may miss is that really, the Reformation had been in progress for many years, even before Martin Luther. Though I believe that God used Martin Luther to set in motion a great awakening in many, there were many men that helped to build the reformation that do not get as much credit as they should. One such man is John Wycliff, the man who first translated the Bible into Engish. He was alive 200 years before the Reformation, and yet held to the same beliefs and worked hard to spread them – though much of his focus was on keeping to the truth and validity of Scripture and not twisting or distorting it in any way. He is actually known as the “Morning Star of the Reformation”. He so angered and upset men, that even after his death they dug up his remains, burned them to ashes and threw his ashes into a river, in hopes that they could rid themselves of his teaching. That is what you call a man who really spoke the truth of God!

Another thing that most do not realize about Martin Luther, is that he never intended to cause such an explosion with his 95 Theses as he did. Originally, he had only intended the thesis to be used a platform for a discussion and debate. He actually sent the thesis out to many men to be read before he even posted them on the door at Wittenberg. It is evident that what he wanted was a healthy discussion/debate with those in the Roman Catholic church, mainly over the issue of indulgences. This also was not the first thesis that Martin Luther wrote, actually just a month before, Luther wrote a document of 97 thesis, mostly about the nature of man, but that thesis simply did not cause as much friction as his 95 thesis did. This 95 thesis most likely caused so much friction and anger in the Roman Catholic church because #1 – it called out the Roman Catholic church for the heresy that they were in, which they did not want to be made know. #2 – it called the pope out by name. Here are just a few of the ones that call the Pope out :

#86 Again: since the pope’s income to-day is larger than that of the wealthiest of wealthy men, why does he not build this one church of St. Peter with his own money, rather than with the money of indigent believers?

#89 What the pope seeks by indulgences is not money, but rather the salvation of souls; why then does he suspend the letters and indulgences formerly conceded, and still as efficacious as ever?

For those of you who do not know what an indulgence is, it was the Roman Catholic churches way of selling Salvation. They would take advantage of people who were fearful of death and purgatory, and tell them that if they bought these indulgences they were in essence buying their salvation. Most indulgences were for a specific time period and event, and therefore would expire very quickly, thus forcing the people to have to purchase more. But then, the Roman Catholic Church came up with a great idea to sell what they called Jubilee Indulgences, which were a 1 time purchase that you could make to secure your salvation permanently.

It was finally the Jubilee Indulgences that broke the straw on the camels back, so to say, and what drove Martin Luther to write out the 95 Theses. In the end, though the Roman Catholic church was so very rich, because they wanted to build a huge new church, they decided to rob the poor by selling them what they knew was untrue and deception. And thus the frustration that Martin Luther went through in trying to get others to understand that what the Roman Catholic Church was doing was far from biblical and was actually heretical. I don’t think that Luther had any idea how much God would use him in sparking the Reformation and bringing people back to Himself.

So what then is the true purpose of Reformation Day ? Is it all about celebrating Martin Luther and the stand that he took against the Roman Catholic Church ? Well, though that is a small part of it, and it IS good to remember those godly men that paved the way – that is NOT the most important part of the Reformation. If we dig deeper and truly look at this from a biblical standpoint, we will realize that since everything that we do needs to point back to Christ – then that should be where Reformation Day leads us. Not simply in the celebration of a mere man that was used as a tool of God, but in the remembrance of where God has brought us and that He should truly be at the center of our lives.

Sola Scriptura – Scripture Alone
Solus Christus – Christ Alone
Sola Gratia – Grace Alone
Sola Fide – Faith Alone
Soli Deo Gloria – The Glory of God Alone

This is ultimately what the Reformation is all about, and what should be the focus of our hearts and minds as we celebrate this Reformation day with our family and friends. Though it doesn’t mean that you cannot have fun, watching movies about Martin Luther or reading books about great men of the Reformation – but in the midst of it all, let us place Christ in the center and remember that rather than making this a day to celebrate what man has done, know that without God Luther, and any other man, would not have done anything at all. Luther was simply the catalist that God used to share His word, may you and I be the same today and everyday.

God bless you my friends and siblings in Christ!

HAPPY REFORMATION DAY! 

*I am including some links at the bottom of this page where you can read more into what Reformation Day really is and where you can read the 95 theses for yourself*

Reformation Day - http://www.monergism.com/directory/link_category/MP3-Audio–Multimedia/Holiday-Sermons/Reformation-Sunday/

Martin Luther’s 95 Theses - http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/history/95theses.htm

 

Glorifying God in Your Marriage – Diffusing Arguments and Keys to Communication

 

“The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.”

Proverbs 31:11-12

So I have started day 1 today of the 30 day challenge by Nancy Leigh Demoss – “30 days of Encouraging Your Husband”. I know that it is something that I really need to work on, and I think that this will give me the grip I need to stay on track and really focus on this over the next month. But as I begin today, I want to share with you ladies some ways that over the past few weeks I have been working on diffusing arguments with my husband and really working to respect and uplift him.

First off, if you haven’t learned already, I have a pretty short fuse. Little things can make me go off, and I rarely think of the consequences before I “blow up” over something. I usually lose my cool and say things I later regret and that cause friction and pain and arguments between the two of us. Later I slap myself in the face and want to pull out my hair, asking myself why I feel the need to cause such snares in my marriage.

What I have been working on (though I am far from perfecting yet) are a few steps that really seem to help me remain humble and pleasing to God no matter what the circumstances . I must admit that these few steps have really prevented a lot of arguments and harsh words that would have been deeply regretted later on.

Number one and most importantly, I pray. I work hard stop everything that I am doing and I pray. Not a simple flippant prayer,  or a one line sentence, but I pray and seek God until my heart attitude is changed. I try hard to not approach my husband until I am ready to go to him out of love and respect, rather than anger and frustration. Now this may not be instantaneous. I have learned over the past few weeks that this may actually take a few days…yep, I said it, A FEW DAYS. But until I am ready to approach him in a way that is glorifying to God and loving and respectful to him as my husband and as my Head, then I need to remain in prayer and keep my mouth SHUT!

Second, I  must choose my words very carefully (this part is much easier if I have already sought God on the situation and He has given me a new perspective on it all and has changed my heart attitude). My husband already faces enough opposition from the world, my goal is to support, encourage and uplift him, not to tear him down and beat him about. My goal as a wife is to be the one to care for him and nurture him and to make our home a place where he is eager to be and hates to leave. If I am cruel and disrespectful all the time to him, what would make me think that he would want to be at home with me ? So when I approach him I work hard to not say cruel or mean things to him or insult him or disrespect him. He is the love of my life, next to God my #1…so I need to talk and communicate to him my feelings and frustrations in such a way that makes him feel loved and respected. This is one of the hardest things for me to do, but as I have found one of the most important as it relates to my husband and our marriage.

Third, I have found that communication is the key. If he never knows how I truly feel, then how can he ever change it ? I mean communication in a calm way, not in the middle of an emotional roller coaster (which I am often prone to do). I try and not talk over the phone about something that is bothering me, because then it makes communication hard because key elements are absent, such as body language and eye contact. He is more prone to know how serious I am about something and really take it into account if I am sitting down one on one with him and looking him in the eyes. He is also more likely to remember what I have said in the future if he has a visual image to remember.

The last thing that I must remember, which is so hard, is that I am created to be his helpmeet and I am to love him unconditionally. There are times when he will say or do or expect things of me that I think are unfair or  possibly even hurtful, but even through all of that, I must love him with a love that overcomes all of that. Often times that will mean overlooking some small offense or thoughtless deed that really isn’t anything big (such as him forgetting to stop at the bank after I have asked him to for 3 days straight) but may be building frustration and stress for me. It is in giving these little things over to God and trusting that God knows best, that I have begun to find the freedom that comes in relying fully upon God in all circumstances and situations. I am not perfect and yet my husband still loves me through all my imperfection, and even more so, my PERFECT God loves me through all my sins and weaknesses, so how much more so should that spur me to love my husband with that same kind of love ?

As I said, I am still a work in progress and have by no means perfected this. I have just noticed huge changes in my marriage as I seek to glorify God truly in everything rather than trying to make things “right” my own ways.

 

Holy Vows

Dedicated to my precious Husband whom I am blessed to be able to spend the rest of my life with! I Love you! Thank you for loving me so much – here is to a great 5 years of being together, 3 of it in marriage! Cannot wait to spend 50 more with you! <3

Cherished are the memories that

brought us to this day

For yesterday was just a dream…

a wish to contemplate

 

A Fantasy where in my mind

a fleeting glimpse I’d see….

A vision of the true desires

I longed for endlessly

 

And when I dreamed, I did not know

the love I’d feel today

the height of my true feelings 

and the  depth they would portray 

 

And if I had one wish today

A simple wish t’would be

is the love that we feel this moment

lasts eternally

 

Reality has merged now

as you stand here by my side

and as I join your hand with mine 

my heart does fill with pride 

 

For as I pledge my love to you

I see in many ways

Reflections of my love for you 

are mirrored in your gaze

 

And by your presence here today 

and for the love we share

I thank you for our yesterdays

that brought us to be here

 

But more than this I vow to you 

my wishes yet to come….

Tomorrows dreams and fantasies

this day that we are one

 

Tomorrow’s an adventure

that we’ll share together now

our futures intertwined forever

through this Holy Vow

 

I promise to remember

in the future years and days

the love I feel for you this moment

….the dreams fulfilled today

 

For in the coming years as we 

move on and reminisce

back to the day I stood with you

and promised with a kiss….

 

That blessed are the days that

I have looked into your eyes

and felt the warmth and love

reflect the essence of our lives  

The Wicked Way of the Tongue

 

Looking back through my blog I have realized that I have MANY posts about words, the mouth and what comes out. If you cannot tell it is something that I struggle quite a lot with, something that I seek to overcome and yet something that I fall to almost every single day. I am often repulsed by the things that come out of my mouth, such wicked and vile things that as soon as they are spoken I am shocked have even came out. They are words that I know break the heart of my precious Lord, and cut and tear at those they are spoken to – most often to my husband or little boy. I am repulsed that anything so wicked could even spill from my lips, let alone hurting those I love and hold so dear.

Yesterday I was confronted with a hard reality on this as we attended church. The Pastor spoke on the power of the tongue  and how it can destroy so much with just so little. Then after listening to the sermon and being a convicted by it, I still STILL allowed my tongue to get out of control yesterday – even while having this at the forefront of my head. In my mind at the time I spoke the words I held a twisted sense of justification, as though my husband deserved the words that I so cruelly spoke to him. But once I stepped back I realized just how wrong I was and how far from Christ I had been at the moment of speaking. Rather than attempting to line my speech up with scripture and what God would have me do at that moment, I followed the desires of my sinful flesh, which at that particular moment wanted to strike back at my husband for what I felt was justice. So terribly sick isn’t it ?

So today after a hard night of guilt and frustration at myself seeking the face of God and His forgiveness (as well as that of my precious husband), I would like to reflect on the sermon that I heard yesterday and seek God in an area that I have always struggled in ever since I was a little girl.

“For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.

See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.” ~ James 3:2-12

In the book of James we see that our faith is tested, we see that through this book we can know that we are truly in Christ and truly saved and regenerated. The book of James shows us that our faith is best tested through the various trials and tests which we encounter while walking with God. But as we study the book of James, we see that the tongue is a main theme that is mentioned over and over an over again. Take note that even before Chapter 3, the tongue is mentioned 3 separate times :

1. In James Chapter 1 verse 19 we see the first references to the tongue : “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger”
2. In James Chapter 1 verse 26 we see the second reference to the tongue : “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.”
3. And then in James Chapter 2 verse 12 we see the third reference to the tongue, all before we even enter the 3rd chapter. : “So speak and so act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty”

It seems as something that we should note that James talks about the tongue so much, especially in the area of the tongue relating to sin. It is obvious here that the best evaluator of a persons life is his tongue. What is in a mans heart comes out of his mouth. You cannot hide what is in the heart forever, eventually it will begin to pour out of your mouth no matter how hard you fight to hide it.

Especially for a talker like myself, I have realized this next statement to be utterly and completely true :

The more words that come out of your mouth, the more in which you speak, the more apt you are to sin with your tongue and therefore the more judgment you pour out upon yourself. 

In the sermon yesterday we learning of four very important reasons in which we must allow God to control our tongues :

1. Because the little tongue can set the course for the whole person

“Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.

See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!” ~ James 3:3-5

The tongue has an amazing power over a persons life. Even though it is such a small thing, it influences the whole of the person. If the tongue is more often wicked than it is righteous you can probably know that the heart of the person is more often that not wicked. We see a few examples in scripture where the tongue changed the course of peoples lives.

• Peter – The tongue changed the course of his life as he stood and denied Jesus
• Judas Iscariot – Once again changed the course of his life as he not only denied Christ but also betrayed Him with his words.
• The Spies – These men were sent into the promise land to look it over and come back and tell the people what they saw. Rather than coming back with the promises of God and a strong trust in Him, many of these men came back and spread fear with their tongues as they shared how they found it impossible to enter in.

The tongue when used expresses power over our lives – whether for good or for bad. Never EVER underestimate the power of the tongue – or how it can direct and influence your life. Just like a fire can begin small, so a ‘tiny’ word or two can tear apart another person and potentially damage a relationship forever, or at the very least leave it scarred from the burns that were inflicted.

2. Because the careless tongue destroys others 

“And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell.” ~ James 3:6 

Again here we see that the heart directs the tongue. Nothing is said by the tongue that has not come from what is inside of our hearts – that is a very scary thing to think about. When I think about some of the most vile things that I have said, it makes my stomach turn and I cringe inside thinking that my heart is so wickedly depraved.

The tongue is used in almost every single sin that we commit. It is almost impossible to sin and not use our tongues, even if just initially, because the source of our tongues again is our heart and our hearts are sinful and deceitfully wicked.

“The heart is more deceitful than all else, And is desperately wicked; Who can understand it?” ~ Jeremiah 17:9 

The tongue is an excellent representative of our depravity. You cannot have something come out of your mouth that is not in your heart to begin with.

“For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.” ~ Mark 7:21-23

After realizing this very important fact, we then must face the fact that it DOES matter what enters into your heart. Your heart is already evil, so we are foolish to think that we can put wickedness or foolishness into our hearts and reap anything back than that which is already evil. We as believers CANNOT be careless as to what we watch, listen to and view because each and everything can and WILL effect and influence our already wicked hearts. Do NOT be foolish and blind and think that the things that you put into your heart will not in turn be reaped, for a man cannot plant a tomato and expect a maple tree to grow from it.

“For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.” Proverbs 26:20

When we refuse to feed the flames, the fire will die down. But just like someone who has been burned by a flame, the damage of the tongue will remain long after the words are spoken. Though we can desire as strongly as anyone can desire anything, we can never take back something that we have said. That is why we must be SO very careful what words we do speak.

3. Because the wicked tongue is untamable 

“For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.” ~ James 3:7-8

What resides in your heart is that which is your master, you are a slave to it. If you feed your heart sin, then you are a slave to sin, but if you feed your heart scripture and seek after the righteousness of God, you then become a slave to God. I don’t know about you all, but I would MUCH rather be a slave to the God who loves me than to sin which seeks to destroy me and those around me.

We see that the tongue is restless and unstable. When you try to control your tongue on your own you will fail over and over and over again. This is just more perfect evidence that we are in need of a perfect God. In these instances we see that we need to submit our sinful and imperfect tongue to a perfect and sinless God. Our only hope is to flee to the Gospel. Many of us (myself included) have times when we simply want to throw our hands up in frustration claiming that our tongues can never be tamed. But this is when we need to seek God. We need to go back to the scriptures, to the Gospel and fall down before the cross of Christ. We need to see what it is our wicked tongues have done to our lives and to the lives of those around us and realize that only God can give us the power to overcome and bridle our tongues. There is nothing that we can do apart from Him to control it – NOTHING! It is through the cross of Christ that you will be given the power to work on overcoming your tongue.

4. Because the vile tongue cannot praise God

“With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh” ~ James 3:9-12

Only a true believer will hate sin and seek with every fiber of his being to destroy that which is displeasing to God.

I heard this yesterday, and again I am seeing it today as I write this out to share with you beloved readers and friends. Over the next couple weeks I am going to really focus on my tongue and studying scripture on it and seeking God out in prayer. My desire is that the more I get into the word of God regarding this, the more He will change my heart and therefore my tongue and I can please and glorify Him with what comes out and bless those around me.

If you struggle in this area as well beloved, please follow me as I grow in Christ. I will post on what I am learning and how I am growing, and perhaps God can use my faults and sins to bless you and for you to learn as well.  Perhaps He can help you avoid the so often heartache that seems to come with a wicked and wagging tongue, a tongue that is set on fire.

Silence is Golden – Winning Your Husband Without a Word

So I have been thinking a lot about the verse in 1 Peter 3 :1 :

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives

I realize that most often times we look at this verse and think of women who are married to men who are not saved, and indeed, this verse does hold a LOT for those women who are faced with marriages where they are unequally yoked and strain under that. But lately I have been hit with something else from this verse, something that even though I have read over this verse MANY times in the past, has just hit me lately. This verse can ALSO be applied to us women who are married to believers.

You may ask, how so ?

Well, lately I have realized that my typical response to my husband when he is doing something that is unbiblical, when he is committing sin, it to nag. I want to complain about it or (with good intentions) keep bringing it up and trying to offer helpful advice to him. Instead of living such a life that would lead him to see the work of God in my life and strive for that as well, I would rather use my words to continue to push him into doing what he should be doing (or what I believe he should be doing).

Lets think about this ladies, when you see your husbands in the middle of a sin, whether it be something that has taken hold in their lives, like lust or anger, or whether it is something that they are commiting in the moment, say a harsh word or a thoughtless deed, what is your typical response ? Is it to turn to God, lift your husband up in prayer and seek to live out the word of God in such a way that it makes your husband desire to do the same ? No. Most times the response is for us to cut him with our words, to seek to hurt him with the things we say. And even then if hurting him is not the ultimate goal, but rather “helping him” along, how often does what we say or do come off as disrespectful or far from submissive ?

The perfect example of this in my life lately has been in the discipline of our son. I have been reading “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” By Ted Tripp, and what he has been talking about has really hit home with me. The thing is, my husband is not reading the book along with me, and really probably does not have any intentions on doing so any time in the near future. So while I think what is being said in the book is wonderful, my husband really has no idea. So lately, every time he has been doing something that I find to be wrong in the way of discipline with our son, I will “correct” him or become upset with him when he doesn’t listen to what I think. This has lead to many an argument between the two of us, because my husband finds my behavior rude and disrespectful to him, which it is.

This is where the “winning without a word” SHOULD come in for me. Rather than causing arguments and disrespecting my husband, I should be showing him through my actions. If I feel that God has shown me a way of discipline that is biblical and I have already approached my husband on it, but he doesn’t see what I do, rather than nagging him or constantly picking apart the way that he chooses to discipline our son, I need to model the behavior (or in this case the discipline). First of all, I need to stand behind whatever method of discipline he chooses to use (as long as it is not abuse, which it never is in our home) but then when I am discipling our son, I need to model that which I see to be biblical. From there it is up to God. God can change my husband’s heart on the matter, and if He so wills he shall do that. Even if God does not change the heart of my husband on whatever it may be (the disicipline in this instance) I still have the knowledge that I am still submitting to my husband and glorifying God at the same time.

Thank God that I have a group of lovely godly women that I keep in touch with who lovingly correct me and show me why my behavior is unbiblical and far from the submissive wife that I am called to be. My heart is in the wrong place when I do this. Rather than trusting that God will teach my husband what it is that He wants him to do and learn, I am eager to take things into my own hands and try and guide my husband. I am in those moments doing as Eve did in the garden and attempting to fight my husband for leadership.

Lately, though I am slow in the process, I am learning that my first priority is myself. I am learning to ask myself probing questions to see where my heart is before I speak (which if anyone knows me, knows that I am a talker and like to say whatever is on my mind with little thought until after I have spoken, so this is very hard for me!!). I ask myself things like “Why am I about to say this ?”, “How will these words/questions edify my husband ?”, “Am I going to glorify God with this or will I put Him to shame ?” and because I have begun to ask myself questions like this, it has begun to put ice on my tongue. It is causing me to be much more cautious about what I say to him before I say it.

And though it can be hard to sit aside and see your husband in sin, it is much more important that you are doing all that God has called you to do as a wife. Nagging though, is not one of those things. One of these very wise ladies that I have been talking to said something profound. Even if what you are saying is not meant to come off as nagging but IT DOES come off as nagging to your husband, then it is nagging none the less. So we as women, we as wives need to make sure that we bridle our tongues and not leg them wag out of place, as mine is often prone to do.

The most important thing in this is to seek God. After you have done all you can do, after you have lovingly (not nagging) brought up what is a concern for you to your husband, if the problem or sin still remains, you need to leave the rest up to God. That is the time when you need to go to Him in prayer and seek His will in the matter. We cannot protect our husbands from everything and though we would like to prevent any pain or discipline that may happen, it is not wise to do. By attempting to prevent these things, we may very well be standing in the way of God teaching our husbands important lessons that they need to learn to grow deeper in Him.

I hope that this gives you something to consider next time you decide that you are going to approach your husband on something. Make sure that you have first gone before God and sought Him out. Then make sure that you have carefully examined your heart in the matter and choose your words carefully. It is so important to make sure that our husbands feel respected and know that you are not trying to undermine their leadership, but trying to build them up in what you say and do. Husbands with nagging wives do not feel that way. A husband who feels respected is more likely to listen to what you have to say than one who doesn’t. And most importantly of all, make sure that you are seeking to glorify God and please Him in everything, including what you say and how you speak to your husband.

“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” ~ 1 Corinthians 10:31

Salvation In Christ Alone! – NOT ALL ROADS LEAD TO HEAVEN

There is ONLY ONE way to heaven, ONLY ONE  way to God – and that is through Jesus Christ. That is it. That is that. There are no loopholes, there are no other paths. There is  ONE road and one road alone. Your salvation, your faith, your hope – all of it is in Jesus Christ. If you find that your faith is set in ANYTHING or ANYONE else, besides Christ Jesus, then you are in serious error and are on the path of eternal damnation. THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT! There is nothing else. It is quite simple. You are either in Christ and are set on the straight and narrow path which leads to Eternal Life – or you are Following a false belief or faith system and you are on the wide path that leads to Eternal Damnation. There IS NO in-between. It is one or the other.

“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

There should be no tolerance in the Christian community for those who want to claim that there is more than one way to God and to Heaven. That is ABSURD! Anyone who reads and adheres to scripture knows that is an insane statement. Jesus Christ HIMSELF tells you in His word that HE IS THE ONLY WAY TO THE FATHER! WITHOUT HIM YOU WILL NEVER ENTER HEAVEN and you WILL NEVER BE WITH GOD! It cannot be much clearer than that.

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” (John 14:6)

“And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)

“He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.” (John 3:36)

How much more blunt and to the point can it get ? How is there any room for compromise or tolerance in these verses ? It is apparently clear that Jesus Christ is the only means of Salvation. Apart from Him regenerating your wicked, evil and sinful heart – you are destined to an eternity of damnation in Hell having the just wrath of God poured out on you constantly. That is ALL you DESERVE and ALL you will RECIEVE apart from salvation in Christ and an intimate relationship with Him. Because ONLY Christ can atone for our sins, ONLY Christ can be the means for our salvation. No one and nothing else.

“For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” (1 Timothy 2:5)

“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.” (1 John 5:11-12)

We need to stand up and be bold about this. Salvation is of the Lord – Salvation is found in Jesus Christ. Sitting in silence or stepping into the shadows out of embarrassment is not an option. If we do not stand up on this and define Salvation according to the word of God, then the Lost world, the Postmodernists, will stand up and define it for us. And obviously, if we look around, we can tell that they are not doing much of a job at it. Due to the lack of boldness in most of the Christian churches today, many people are either really confused or so lost and caught up in faulty doctrines and religions that it has infiltrated quite a bit of thinking in the evangelical community.

I have talked to some who actually believe that you can live HOWEVER you want here on earth, but that once you get to heaven, God will look at you with pity and give you a second chance to choose Him! HAHA! WOW! It really is not laughable, but it is so ridiculous, that either I laugh or I scream in frustration over how distorted salvation has become! DOES NO ONE READ SCRIPTURE ANYMORE ?!?!?!?!?!?! Is the Bible Not clear enough on this subject ? For those, their eyes are blinded to the truth and it takes an act of God to open them up to the life in His word.  I know that I have talked until I was blue in the face to some of these people – and in the end, I realized that there was nothing more that I could do. It was in the hands of God and if He chose to open up their hearts to His truth, then in His timing and for His glory He would do so.

Now, just so I am clear, this is not something new. This has always been an issue – there have always been people trying to redefine salvation, even back in the Apostle Paul’s day. The difference is that I have noticed that so many of those who claim Christ are willing to back down and bow down to those who claim something that is a complete contradiction to scripture. It is easier to remain silent and keep the applause of the crowd, rather than standing up for truth and speaking out when you will be attacked, ridiculed, mocked and unfriended.

But this is what must be done. For many of you who read this, what I am saying you already know and agree with. If that is you, then I am blessed to have you reading this, and I just want to give you the encouragement to either begin to stand up for this truth – or to continue in doing it as you currently are and have done in the past. I want you to know that there is no shame in standing up for the word of God and speaking out. You will be disliked, and perhaps even hated – but the rewards you have with Christ are far greater than anything that you may have to go through here on earth for standing up for this.

For those of you who do not agree, for those of you who actually believe that there is more than one way to heaven, that ‘all roads lead to Rome’. I am saying a prayer for you right now as I write this. You have allowed Satan to step in and infiltrate your thinking. You have allowed the Satan, through the world, to define Salvation. Read through these scriptures and study them. Even if you believe as Oprah does, that you can be a buddhist, a muslim, a hindu, a Christian and still get to Heaven, I want you to know that you are wrong and scripture is clear on what is waiting for you when you die. It is NOT a pretty picture and it is far uglier than anything that you can imagine in your head.

Hell is not just a place where you suffer in burning flames for eternity. The lake of Fire is not just a place where you get burned up and that is it. NO, it is SO much more. Eternal damnation is where you will spend FOREVER.

Now let me take a moment here to pause and allow you to read what Websters dictionary defines forever as :

Never ending,

Eternally

Continually

Incessantly

Always

An endless period of time

Now with that pointed out, and hopefully you have a better grasp on just how long forever is, think about an eternity, a FOREVER not just suffering in pain, not just suffering in flames - but an eternity, a FOREVER with the continuous and righteous just wrath of God being poured out on you. Being punished over and over and over again for everything that you did that was against God. For everything that you said that was sinful and wicked. For every thought that crossed your mind that was evil and perverse. It is a wrath that is never-ending, a shame that cannot be taken away, a guilt that will continue to eat away at you as day in and day out you are punished for each and every thing that you EVER did that was against God.

Now that we have put that in perspective, that is a long way off from the thoughts of flowers, sunshine and bricks of gold that many of you thought of when you thought of dying, is it not ? I don’t say this to be harsh, I don’t say it for the sake of being cruel, I say it out of love. I DO NOT WANT you to suffer this fate. I DO NOT want you to have to the wrath of God poured out on you. I desire that each and every one of you reading this would enter into the gates of splendor and be able to worship and sit at the feet of God for all of eternity, loving and enjoying Him forever.

But YOU MUST know and understand salvation before anything else. If you believe that you can be saved through any other means but regeneration through Christ Jesus, you are mistaken and on a very slippery and dangerous path. It may look like a path that is fun, but while it is sweet in your mouth at the time, it will turn to bitter and vile poison in your stomach later on. REPENT AND BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST!

I urge those of you who are confused on this issue to read through these verses that I have posted and really search them, with an open heart and mind to the word of God. I am praying that God uses this to touch your heart and to draw those of you who are not saved, unto Himself.

This is just one of many blog post I plan to write on this subject of salvation. There is so much that goes into it, it is hard to cover every detail in one post. So keep your eyes peeled for more articles in the future on this VERY IMPORTANT topic!